Love in the Time of Contagion

[drcuriosity]

So, just for amusement value, I've rewritten my profile on a local dating site. With a little inspiration along the way from Mitchell and Webb and cameos from Taken, Scarfolk and Zombieland.

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Remember: REMAIN INDOORS!

I have spent most of the last few months of my life huddled in a small, poorly-lit room. Now that this appears to be becoming the norm, it's my chance to shine. (Behind blackout curtains, so the raiders cannot see.)

I have a particular set of skills. Skills that I have acquired over a long career, and far too long secluded in study. I also enjoy cooking, air filtration system cleaning and repair, long hours of quiet contemplation, not thinking about the event, and scavenging in the rubble of what we once laughingly called "civilization". I try to maintain a positive attitude. Also, working with computers to keep vital infrastructure operating helps to give me a sense of purpose in our otherwise meaningless existence.

I like keeping fit. And uncontaminated. Calisthenics are of course very important to our continued survival, and martial arts can also help. I'd like to get back into things like swimming, but the beaches are currently teeming with scores of the Unclean Ones.

I generally like to keep my high-profile work fairly low-profile. I will tell you now, though, I don't know the filtration codes. They change them all the time, and I'm only sent them when I need to work on a particular system. I can't siphon off any pure water for you. They check. You'll understand.

Humour's a big thing for me. I like surreal. I like black humour. I like parody. I like subtlety, or things that are blatantly over the top. I like people who can still be silly, while being grown up when they need to be.

I like to go for short walks down the tunnels, still clinging tight to my memory of beaches that I once walked down before the event. Don't think about the event. Or the chemical content of the sand. Or birds; they're not safe now.

I'm very allergic to smokers, which kinda sucks. Thankfully air filtration masks are pretty standard these days. And lack of personal contact. So, uh, that's a plus.

I'm quite interested in futurism, including cyberpunk, retrofuturistic things, and things that might once have been our future if the event* had not happened, and often destroyed even our continued perception of time, let alone a future beyond this frail shred of existence we eke out among the bones of our ruined cities.

If you're familiar with themes like those, chances are we'll get on just fine.

* Remember: do NOT think about the event!

Important characteristics I'm looking for:

If I'm going to get into a relationship, I would prefer that it is founded on respect for each other's individuality and agency, whatever else we are together and whoever else might be involved along the way. If you have your own supply of air filters, fresh water and detergent, that is certainly a bonus.

Somehow, even with my periods of enforced essential labour, I seem to have more free time than I had when I was finishing my PhD. I am looking for interesting ways to spend it.

For more information, please re-read this profile.