4am Insomniac Thought

"That electric touch is all I need to remember, and all I need to forget."

Just when I thought something couldn't touch me anymore, it came back again in full force recently. There's a small piece of my brain that can't help but feel a certain way, no matter how hard I try to push it down. Of course, it would probably be easier for those involved if that piece of my brain never existed. I still know it's there. I suspect I'm not the only one. I just hope it doesn't rear its ugly head and hurt or discomfort someone I'm close to. There are few things that I have trouble talking about directly because they hurt, and unless anyone else involved feels like being direct at me, they're mine alone to deal with.

On another note, my job prospects are looking up. My almost-work has started (unpaid stuff for a friend that may get me into paid employ later), and I'm lining up a possiblity for some contract work through another acquaintance, too.

Now is a time for strength, in many ways. Even if I need to tear bits of myself down in order to rebuild anew. Excuse my melodramatic streak.

So come on please
Tell me the truth
Show me the right path to tread on
Cause I can't set my hands
On the heaven sent
If you only knew how deep I got myself into this mess
I deserve nothing less