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Wir haben uns im Traum verpasst
Jun. 14th, 2003 06:10 amTonight was a night I spent mostly on the outside looking in, alone despite being surrounded by friends. I'm not sure why, but I just felt sort of... dislocated socially, for some reason. Like I was just going through the motions of interaction, rather than actually being there. I find myself wondering how often others feel this way.
I think this feeling was exacerbated (or maybe partially caused by) wanting to talk to a number of people about a number things I consider important - but for some reason, I suddenly became inaudible or lost their attention at about the "I'd like to talk to y..." point in each case. At first I found the coincidence amusing, but the amusement value of such things wears thin quickly, so I eventually gave up in my attempts and hoped there would be another day. Curse this thrice-bedamned invisibility of mine.
I certainly hope it was coincidental, anyway. The thought that people would be deliberately avoiding talking with me about things isn't a pleasant one. Yes, I know I'm overanalysing things again. I'm trying to stop.
Still, there were some good points. Finding out the goings-on of people I haven't seen in a while. Having people keeping me company and providing hugs when I was taking a breather after slightly too much ambient cigarette smoke.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
theuns managing to do quite a creditable job of fixing my back tension (and I must say, it feels damned nice to be on the receiving end of that for a change - that makes a couple of backrubs in the last week).
I have an engagement party to attend tomorrow night. *looks at the clock* Er, tonight. Hopefully I'll be in somewhat more of a cheerful and together mood by then. I'm not keen on merely being fit for social wallpaper.
Ich wart' am falschen Pol.
I think this feeling was exacerbated (or maybe partially caused by) wanting to talk to a number of people about a number things I consider important - but for some reason, I suddenly became inaudible or lost their attention at about the "I'd like to talk to y..." point in each case. At first I found the coincidence amusing, but the amusement value of such things wears thin quickly, so I eventually gave up in my attempts and hoped there would be another day. Curse this thrice-bedamned invisibility of mine.
I certainly hope it was coincidental, anyway. The thought that people would be deliberately avoiding talking with me about things isn't a pleasant one. Yes, I know I'm overanalysing things again. I'm trying to stop.
Still, there were some good points. Finding out the goings-on of people I haven't seen in a while. Having people keeping me company and providing hugs when I was taking a breather after slightly too much ambient cigarette smoke.
theuns managing to do quite a creditable job of fixing my back tension (and I must say, it feels damned nice to be on the receiving end of that for a change - that makes a couple of backrubs in the last week).I have an engagement party to attend tomorrow night. *looks at the clock* Er, tonight. Hopefully I'll be in somewhat more of a cheerful and together mood by then. I'm not keen on merely being fit for social wallpaper.
Ich wart' am falschen Pol.
