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drcuriosityHere's some stuff I wrote elsewhere, that I thought might be good to have a record of to refer to later. The context of the discussion was a woman suggesting that men being violent against women was far worse than female violence against men. From someone else's response to the thread:
Yes the statistics bear out the fact that MOST violence is done by males. It is very easy for us to sit in judgement over individual men or women who have done terrible things to other family members. But society in general has to accept some culpability because high risk individuals continue to be exposed to economic and emotional stresses as well as drug and alcohol induced trauma that are beyond their ability to cope.
Now, my response:
I agree that there are some societal issues that need to be addressed, here - one can't just target and remove the "high risk" members from a society like ours, because everyone is at some degree of risk, and these things do change over time.
Males do tend to perpetrate more physical violence than females do. Certainly, having more testosterone in your system does tend to promote more aggressive responses to things, and those with more strength are more likely to use that as a method of competing with or exerting power over those who have less. Treating that as the whole story would be specious.
I feel that this is in some way a price we pay for having what some people call "Real Men". The staunch guy who'll step in to protect his mates or his girl if they're in trouble, who takes any troubles on the chin and doesn't whinge about it. The kind of guy who's more likely to go down to the shed and chop firewood to get something out of his system than cry into his beer down at the pub.
This is the kind of stereotype that a large proportion of New Zealand men have grown up with. You don't open up to anyone about your problems, or you're a wuss. You don't dob someone in - you sort out your own problems. You take the shit that's piled up on you with a "yeah, no worries mate". The worries don't go away, though - you're just expected to cope.
The thing is, not all guys work that way. Given few outlets for getting rid of feelings of stress, frustration and powerlessness in a peaceful fashion, is it any wonder that so many men lash out with their fists? In a culture where it's pretty much an accepted (and often tolerated) fact that people will get aggressive and lash out a bit if they get drunk?
If we set up such a strong archetype for our society's men to conform to, then is it any wonder that so many turn out to have feet of clay?
It's mostly here for posterity, but if you've got any commentary to go with it, by all means...
Yes the statistics bear out the fact that MOST violence is done by males. It is very easy for us to sit in judgement over individual men or women who have done terrible things to other family members. But society in general has to accept some culpability because high risk individuals continue to be exposed to economic and emotional stresses as well as drug and alcohol induced trauma that are beyond their ability to cope.
Now, my response:
I agree that there are some societal issues that need to be addressed, here - one can't just target and remove the "high risk" members from a society like ours, because everyone is at some degree of risk, and these things do change over time.
Males do tend to perpetrate more physical violence than females do. Certainly, having more testosterone in your system does tend to promote more aggressive responses to things, and those with more strength are more likely to use that as a method of competing with or exerting power over those who have less. Treating that as the whole story would be specious.
I feel that this is in some way a price we pay for having what some people call "Real Men". The staunch guy who'll step in to protect his mates or his girl if they're in trouble, who takes any troubles on the chin and doesn't whinge about it. The kind of guy who's more likely to go down to the shed and chop firewood to get something out of his system than cry into his beer down at the pub.
This is the kind of stereotype that a large proportion of New Zealand men have grown up with. You don't open up to anyone about your problems, or you're a wuss. You don't dob someone in - you sort out your own problems. You take the shit that's piled up on you with a "yeah, no worries mate". The worries don't go away, though - you're just expected to cope.
The thing is, not all guys work that way. Given few outlets for getting rid of feelings of stress, frustration and powerlessness in a peaceful fashion, is it any wonder that so many men lash out with their fists? In a culture where it's pretty much an accepted (and often tolerated) fact that people will get aggressive and lash out a bit if they get drunk?
If we set up such a strong archetype for our society's men to conform to, then is it any wonder that so many turn out to have feet of clay?
It's mostly here for posterity, but if you've got any commentary to go with it, by all means...
