(no subject)
Jun. 6th, 2025 12:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hellsop was a real one. He will be sorely missed.https://obits.cremationsocietyofmilwaukee.com/peter-coffin
hellsop was a real one. He will be sorely missed.https://obits.cremationsocietyofmilwaukee.com/peter-coffin
Not here often - honestly, on social media in general far less these days.
Working for the same company, on contract to the same university. Much of my income going on helping those in worse straits than I am. Tired a lot, but seem to be getting past the worst of my traumatic PhD burnout. Single, and likely to stay that way a good while since meeting new people outside of a work context is Pretty Hard These Days, let alone travel further afield.
Still. Finding myself able to use my graybeard-ness for the benefit of others. Exploring music broadly. Reading sometimes. Cycling a fair bit. Life keeps on.
Working for the same company, on contract to the same university. Much of my income going on helping those in worse straits than I am. Tired a lot, but seem to be getting past the worst of my traumatic PhD burnout. Single, and likely to stay that way a good while since meeting new people outside of a work context is Pretty Hard These Days, let alone travel further afield.
Still. Finding myself able to use my graybeard-ness for the benefit of others. Exploring music broadly. Reading sometimes. Cycling a fair bit. Life keeps on.
Cloud services and resilience
Jul. 2nd, 2023 10:35 pmAfter a Facebook discussion this RNZ article on Microsoft wanting to push AI systems in New Zealand schools, I got into a conversation with a local hydrologist (also Leon's mum) about cloud services and resilience, especially in light of the devastation wrought by Cyclone Gabrielle recently.
Marianne writes:
The very short answer: they can't. Not by themselves.
( The relatively long answer )
Marianne writes:
I'm genuinely curious as to what the fallback options are when your primary cloud services go down in a situation like Gabrielle and all your data and software are in the cloud and reliant on the internet working.
Monitoring sites are usually independently powered and have battery banks to keep them going. Critical sites are doubled-up. We used to run the comms networks with our own repeaters with backup generators, backup radio comms in case the copper or cell towers went down, backup generators at the EM centre, and a local PC with the necessary data and software installed so if we had to, we could run the entire system for several days from pretty much anywhere.
I keep hearing about cloud services dropping the ball in these situations. So as I said I am really curious and interested to know how cloud service providers can ensure this sort of resilience.
The very short answer: they can't. Not by themselves.
( The relatively long answer )
Talking to other men about "rape culture"
May. 8th, 2022 07:03 pmAnother one coming out of messageboard conversations on a local tragic online dating site. Trying to get the tone right for having that conversation with less socially progressive men in a constructive way.
( CW: talking about rape, mention of mass shootings by comparison )
( CW: talking about rape, mention of mass shootings by comparison )
Oh no it's filking again...
Apr. 16th, 2021 08:22 pmThis time I've been playing too much Hardspace: Shipbreaker, a spaceship demolition game set in a dystopian corporate future. So it's a good fit for space bluegrass...
I Am A Man with Constant Splitsaw (Oh Cutter, Where Art Thou?)
I am a man with constant splitsaw
I've been cutting all my days
I bid farewell to another Javelin
The kind where I was born and raised
(The kind where he was born and raised!)
For six long years,
I've been in trouble
No treasure here,
Off Earth I've found
For in this world
I'm bound to fumble
Got too much debt for breathing now
You can bury me in some container
For many years, there I may lay
Then you may want to clone another
While I am sleeping in my grave
(While he is sleeping in his grave!)
Maybe your friends think
I'm just a stranger
My face you'll never see no more
But, there is one promise that is given,
We'll meet when flowers bloom once more
(You'll meet when flowers bloom once more!)
Love in the Time of Contagion
Mar. 26th, 2020 08:59 pmSo, just for amusement value, I've rewritten my profile on a local dating site. With a little inspiration along the way from Mitchell and Webb and cameos from Taken, Scarfolk and Zombieland.
Remember: REMAIN INDOORS!
I have spent most of the last few months of my life huddled in a small, poorly-lit room. Now that this appears to be becoming the norm, it's my chance to shine. (Behind blackout curtains, so the raiders cannot see.)
I have a particular set of skills. Skills that I have acquired over a long career, and far too long secluded in study. I also enjoy cooking, air filtration system cleaning and repair, long hours of quiet contemplation, not thinking about the event, and scavenging in the rubble of what we once laughingly called "civilization". I try to maintain a positive attitude. Also, working with computers to keep vital infrastructure operating helps to give me a sense of purpose in our otherwise meaningless existence.
I like keeping fit. And uncontaminated. Calisthenics are of course very important to our continued survival, and martial arts can also help. I'd like to get back into things like swimming, but the beaches are currently teeming with scores of the Unclean Ones.
I generally like to keep my high-profile work fairly low-profile. I will tell you now, though, I don't know the filtration codes. They change them all the time, and I'm only sent them when I need to work on a particular system. I can't siphon off any pure water for you. They check. You'll understand.
Humour's a big thing for me. I like surreal. I like black humour. I like parody. I like subtlety, or things that are blatantly over the top. I like people who can still be silly, while being grown up when they need to be.
I like to go for short walks down the tunnels, still clinging tight to my memory of beaches that I once walked down before the event. Don't think about the event. Or the chemical content of the sand. Or birds; they're not safe now.
I'm very allergic to smokers, which kinda sucks. Thankfully air filtration masks are pretty standard these days. And lack of personal contact. So, uh, that's a plus.
I'm quite interested in futurism, including cyberpunk, retrofuturistic things, and things that might once have been our future if the event* had not happened, and often destroyed even our continued perception of time, let alone a future beyond this frail shred of existence we eke out among the bones of our ruined cities.
If you're familiar with themes like those, chances are we'll get on just fine.
* Remember: do NOT think about the event!
Important characteristics I'm looking for:
If I'm going to get into a relationship, I would prefer that it is founded on respect for each other's individuality and agency, whatever else we are together and whoever else might be involved along the way. If you have your own supply of air filters, fresh water and detergent, that is certainly a bonus.
Somehow, even with my periods of enforced essential labour, I seem to have more free time than I had when I was finishing my PhD. I am looking for interesting ways to spend it.
For more information, please re-read this profile.
Dr. Dr. Curiosity
Jan. 15th, 2020 05:02 pmToday I finally got official paperwork saying this:
In April I get to don a floppy hat and visit the Town Hall, but for all other intents and purposes I am now officially Done.
Congratulations!It was delayed a bit because the first time they sent it to me, it had a 500MB scanned and annotated reviewer copy attached, which my email system promptly rejected. So even at the tail end of proceedings, I'm still an edge case. Very on-brand.
I am pleased to advise that the examiners of your Doctoral thesis have reported favourably and you have now qualified for the award of PhD. If you have any questions with regard to the examiner reports, please contact your Postgraduate Coordinator or Supervisor.
We have deposited your thesis into the UC library repository where it will be accessible online. Please note that if you have an embargo in place the thesis will not be accessible until the embargo has ended.
You are now eligible to graduate.
In April I get to don a floppy hat and visit the Town Hall, but for all other intents and purposes I am now officially Done.
Finishing.
Dec. 24th, 2019 09:58 pmSo, I think at long last I've finally finished my PhD thesis for good.
It's taken far too long, between work and health problems and the stress of looking after other people going through tough times as well. But it was sent in to the Postgrad Office yesterday, and once they're back from the Christmas/New Years break they'll process it, and send it on to the library.
I'm now at that point of trying to work out what to do with the thesis-shaped hole in my life, and remember just what used to go there. I'm sure I had a social life once, and hobbies. This close to the holidays is hard because I'd usually at least be doing something with family but Dad's busy this year and everyone else is out of town, and no one else I know seems to have anything open invite this year. I guess it's time to fill the quiet with music and computer games.
The secret, as always, is to unwind without completely unravelling.
It's taken far too long, between work and health problems and the stress of looking after other people going through tough times as well. But it was sent in to the Postgrad Office yesterday, and once they're back from the Christmas/New Years break they'll process it, and send it on to the library.
I'm now at that point of trying to work out what to do with the thesis-shaped hole in my life, and remember just what used to go there. I'm sure I had a social life once, and hobbies. This close to the holidays is hard because I'd usually at least be doing something with family but Dad's busy this year and everyone else is out of town, and no one else I know seems to have anything open invite this year. I guess it's time to fill the quiet with music and computer games.
The secret, as always, is to unwind without completely unravelling.
Catching up is hard to do
Aug. 28th, 2019 12:30 amI spent some time today catching up with someone who I went to primary and intermediate school with. Neither of us fit in especially well, and in a time of "boys will be boys, they get into fights" we both paid a heavy price for that.
Our lives took some pretty radically different paths in the intervening years. Most of our conversation tonight was about a wide variety of other things, from experimental music to Weimar Germany to jail time in Korea to life on a farm, but that common past we shared was touched on...
"You helped me to survive school."
Hearing someone tell me this, even after so many years, is affecting me more profoundly that I can really say right now.
It also makes me miss Rowan, my neighbour and closest friend for a lot of my early years. His family moved away from our neighbourhood around the end of primary school, and we lost touch. From the days of the worldwide web and later social media, the only thing I was ever able to find about him was old genealogical records. I can't say for sure, but I get a strong feeling that he didn't make it. He planned to study to become an archaeologist. I think he would have been quite good at it.
Our lives took some pretty radically different paths in the intervening years. Most of our conversation tonight was about a wide variety of other things, from experimental music to Weimar Germany to jail time in Korea to life on a farm, but that common past we shared was touched on...
"You helped me to survive school."
Hearing someone tell me this, even after so many years, is affecting me more profoundly that I can really say right now.
It also makes me miss Rowan, my neighbour and closest friend for a lot of my early years. His family moved away from our neighbourhood around the end of primary school, and we lost touch. From the days of the worldwide web and later social media, the only thing I was ever able to find about him was old genealogical records. I can't say for sure, but I get a strong feeling that he didn't make it. He planned to study to become an archaeologist. I think he would have been quite good at it.
This phrase came up again in conversation with a particular friend of mine, so I took the time to try to clarify an issue I see with this kind of "play" in the discourse of the Internet Shouting Factories.
The original principle of the historical role of Devil's Advocate was that extraordinary claims require extraordinary scrutiny, and thus must pass an ordeal of extraordinary challenge to be accepted. Sometimes, that is not the best frame for a conversation to have.
Not every discussion needs to be combative, nor treated as though it's all within the frame of some kind of reductionist ideological football match, where everyone's wearing team colours and pushing each other around for yardage.
As I get older, I'm increasingly not interested in pouring my energy into fighting for the sake of fighting and scoring points. It's nice for in-group cohesion and social performance of values and all, but it doesn't tend to do much to convince anyone of anything.
We can try to build things, too - but that requires more care and more collaborative action, rather than just hammering away at anything that looks nail-like and declaring a victory when it lowers its head.
The original principle of the historical role of Devil's Advocate was that extraordinary claims require extraordinary scrutiny, and thus must pass an ordeal of extraordinary challenge to be accepted. Sometimes, that is not the best frame for a conversation to have.
Not every discussion needs to be combative, nor treated as though it's all within the frame of some kind of reductionist ideological football match, where everyone's wearing team colours and pushing each other around for yardage.
As I get older, I'm increasingly not interested in pouring my energy into fighting for the sake of fighting and scoring points. It's nice for in-group cohesion and social performance of values and all, but it doesn't tend to do much to convince anyone of anything.
We can try to build things, too - but that requires more care and more collaborative action, rather than just hammering away at anything that looks nail-like and declaring a victory when it lowers its head.
(no subject)
Sep. 17th, 2018 10:24 pmToday, I had more than a few frustrating things happen in various places. Six months ago, a year ago, five or ten years ago, it probably would have been a Most Terrible Day.
Today, a couple of good things have happened too. Not incredibly special or momentous, but just a couple of positive points. So now it's really not that bad a day at all.
I don't know how much of this is maturity and how much is recovery, but all in all it feels like strong progress is being made.
Today, a couple of good things have happened too. Not incredibly special or momentous, but just a couple of positive points. So now it's really not that bad a day at all.
I don't know how much of this is maturity and how much is recovery, but all in all it feels like strong progress is being made.
Guess Who's Coming to Bespin
Aug. 2nd, 2018 10:17 pm
this scene is so sad. vader made a nice meal for everyone and han solo just starts shooting like a dickhead
-- @jester174
G: "Lando opens the door. The room contains a table, set for a lavish banquet. As you enter, who should stand from the head of the table but Darth Vader, raising his hand in--"
C: "Hey, Lando's my old character! He can't betray us to the bad--"
H: "We're not entering the room. I quickdraw my blaster pistol and shoot him."
G: "...GodDAMNIT, Harrison! Again? I'm trying to advance the plot here. And Carrie, Lando's an NPC now. Vader begins to speak..."
H: "Yep, and I'm definitely beginning to shoot him, George." *rolls*
G: "19? seriously?! *sighs deeply* Okay, okay. Darth Vader uses his, uh, magic Jedi powers to deflect the blaster bolt with his hand."
M: "Hey, no fair! How come he can do it with his hand? Doesn't he need to draw his lightsaber first?"
G: "Well... because his hand is made out of metal, okay?"
M: *eyes widen as he furiously scribbles a note on his character sheet*
G: "Vader uses ~The Force~ to take the blaster, and says `We would be honoured if you would join us.' And who should step out but your old bounty hunter nemesis... Boba Fett! Also now there are Stormtroopers behind you."
H: "...I hate you, George. Screw your magic space knights and plot dumping - next time we're playing my Nazi-punching campaign!"
Software, projects, and teams.
Apr. 25th, 2018 10:13 pmDiscussions elsewhere about this article on scrum methodology for software projects prompted me to have many reckons about doing these things right. So let's put them here, too.
I'm not sure I've ever seen a functional team doing "pure" scrum. Heck, even "pure" agile. I think it's probably best treated as a first step, rather than a fully-realised development methodology. Indeed, a lot of the pain points seem to come in when people try to treat it a the fully-realised development methodology that it simply isn't.
A good development framework is strong but flexible. It scaffolds the thing you're building, and doesn't get in the way of it. Too brittle, it splinters. Too heavy, it collapses under its own weight. Too little attention to structural integrity, and it can't hold together. In each of those cases, the project - and the workers - come crashing down in a screaming heap.
Furthermore: effective processes for building a Thing are different from the effective processes for building a Team. If you're relying on a project management tool to do the heavy lifting for the team's leadership needs, you're a damned fool and your project is probably damned too. Management and leadership are complementary and non-interchangeable skillsets. They don't always need to be concentrated in the same people, but they need to be present and actively engaged.
Scrum does put a lot of emphasis on having a product owner and them being responsible for triaging the things that are valuable to work on next. This is useful, but only to a point. When you have a team full of technical professionals, accomplished in the art and science of their jobs, you have a wealth of domain knowledge that can and should be part of the equation for determining what "valuable" means.
It is vital, for both technical and human morale reasons, to treat your professionals as professionals - and this means involving them in the whats and whys of the project, not just the hows and how-longs. It means developing Will to go with the Skill, both as individuals and as teams.
The movement of information and flow of decision cannot just be a top-down "push" process. The people doing the work need to be enabled - and supported - in pushing back when they see a product owner's priorities are out of whack. If there's a good chance your wheels might fall off at speed, you should fix that first no matter how much your product owner really wants a supercharger installed. This is a common agile failure mode, and something you should protect against in your contracts / statement of work. A customer who can't or won't understand the basic principles of quality assurance and risk mitigation is probably one you should be walking away from. Before they take you down with them.
(This post inspired in various parts by the works of Lev Vygotsky, Abraham Maslow, Col. D.M. Malone and Mike Monteiro.)
I'm not sure I've ever seen a functional team doing "pure" scrum. Heck, even "pure" agile. I think it's probably best treated as a first step, rather than a fully-realised development methodology. Indeed, a lot of the pain points seem to come in when people try to treat it a the fully-realised development methodology that it simply isn't.
A good development framework is strong but flexible. It scaffolds the thing you're building, and doesn't get in the way of it. Too brittle, it splinters. Too heavy, it collapses under its own weight. Too little attention to structural integrity, and it can't hold together. In each of those cases, the project - and the workers - come crashing down in a screaming heap.
Furthermore: effective processes for building a Thing are different from the effective processes for building a Team. If you're relying on a project management tool to do the heavy lifting for the team's leadership needs, you're a damned fool and your project is probably damned too. Management and leadership are complementary and non-interchangeable skillsets. They don't always need to be concentrated in the same people, but they need to be present and actively engaged.
Scrum does put a lot of emphasis on having a product owner and them being responsible for triaging the things that are valuable to work on next. This is useful, but only to a point. When you have a team full of technical professionals, accomplished in the art and science of their jobs, you have a wealth of domain knowledge that can and should be part of the equation for determining what "valuable" means.
It is vital, for both technical and human morale reasons, to treat your professionals as professionals - and this means involving them in the whats and whys of the project, not just the hows and how-longs. It means developing Will to go with the Skill, both as individuals and as teams.
The movement of information and flow of decision cannot just be a top-down "push" process. The people doing the work need to be enabled - and supported - in pushing back when they see a product owner's priorities are out of whack. If there's a good chance your wheels might fall off at speed, you should fix that first no matter how much your product owner really wants a supercharger installed. This is a common agile failure mode, and something you should protect against in your contracts / statement of work. A customer who can't or won't understand the basic principles of quality assurance and risk mitigation is probably one you should be walking away from. Before they take you down with them.
(This post inspired in various parts by the works of Lev Vygotsky, Abraham Maslow, Col. D.M. Malone and Mike Monteiro.)
Early morning thoughts about needs.
Apr. 21st, 2018 11:43 amSince submitting my PhD thesis, I've been giving my body time to get various of its equilibria back. Muscles unclenching, tracts tracting, and sleep patterns starting to pattern again.
Around 4a.m., prompted by a Big Think article posted over on the Book of the Face, I found myself having thoughts about pyramidal models. Posted to the Twitters at the time, but I'll keep it here for posterity.
Around 4a.m., prompted by a Big Think article posted over on the Book of the Face, I found myself having thoughts about pyramidal models. Posted to the Twitters at the time, but I'll keep it here for posterity.
How about, instead of treating Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs as a mountain that people have to climb from level to level, you treat it more like a healthy food pyramid?
Satisfy all of the needs in balanced proportion with each other, to maintain your healthy balance as a person.
Worth considering also: when some of your needs aren't being met, and you have no ready means of meeting them, then you look for more of other needs to fill the gap - to make you feel full, even if it's not the best option for your health.
A poverty across any needs can have a lasting effect on someone's psychological wellbeing. On their morale, their self-efficacy, their ability to live a better life.
It is at its most stark and obvious among those who lack in those "eat most" needs like food, health and security, but those are not the only deficits that can have a crippling effect on people.
Those large basic needs should certainly get triaged first in emergencies, but if the support is only limited to keeping people alive at a subsistence level, you could still end up with the psychological equivalent of malnutrition if the "eat less" needs are not fulfilled at all.
Long term, people need sufficient energy to grow, pathways to grow along, and a good balance of all of those psychological trace elements to keep them healthy, and keep them going.
Thinking that starving someone will encourage their growth is perverse.
(no subject)
Sep. 7th, 2017 08:06 pmSomeone elsewhere on the internet asks:
That was the cause of 90% of the fights between my sister and I when I was growing up. Mild irritation would be picked up on, reflected and magnified until it escalated. It's happened occasionally in relationships since, too - usually when my partners and I have had different, incompatible stress-coping strategies.
The best thing I've found, seriously? Time out. Even for adults. Activities of pretty much any engaging sort that you can do alone and not bother each other with for a while. If it helps, agree to check in after a while / occasionally and see how the other is doing.
Important to make a distinction, though: it helps to have a "called" timeout, not just "avoiding each other". If you make it an explicit, even formalised cooldown period, then it can help to establish a common basis of understanding, intent and expectation. Otherwise, it's very easy for cooldown time to turn into stewing-on-it time, and you come out swinging rather than looking to reconnect.
Sometimes a "we're just pissing each other off right now and need to get out of each other's hair for a bit" is just what my relationships have needed to stay healthy. (Whether I realised that at the time or not.)
[Brought to you by $Me Learns Things the Hard Way.]
What do you do when your partner and yourself are both in the "everything pisses you off" cycle of your respective mood swings? Feedback loops suck!!!
That was the cause of 90% of the fights between my sister and I when I was growing up. Mild irritation would be picked up on, reflected and magnified until it escalated. It's happened occasionally in relationships since, too - usually when my partners and I have had different, incompatible stress-coping strategies.
The best thing I've found, seriously? Time out. Even for adults. Activities of pretty much any engaging sort that you can do alone and not bother each other with for a while. If it helps, agree to check in after a while / occasionally and see how the other is doing.
Important to make a distinction, though: it helps to have a "called" timeout, not just "avoiding each other". If you make it an explicit, even formalised cooldown period, then it can help to establish a common basis of understanding, intent and expectation. Otherwise, it's very easy for cooldown time to turn into stewing-on-it time, and you come out swinging rather than looking to reconnect.
Sometimes a "we're just pissing each other off right now and need to get out of each other's hair for a bit" is just what my relationships have needed to stay healthy. (Whether I realised that at the time or not.)
[Brought to you by $Me Learns Things the Hard Way.]
Musings on boot camps and criminality
Aug. 13th, 2017 08:05 pmIt's election season, and thus also the season to get tough on crime™, with our Prime Minister floating the idea of year-long "boot camps" for Serious Youth Offenders. This in spite of research here and overseas that suggests that this kind of "get tough" approach isn't effective and often backfires.
This ended up with me having a discussion with friends, one who's been in the military and has attempted to train people in this kind of circumstances. The following are my own thoughts on the matter. Would be keen to know if any of this sounds like it doesn't make sense, but no "but some people are just plain evil!" please. I'd like us to fix what we can for who we can.
People seem to think it's the ordeals of basic training in the armed forces which "straightens them out", but it's really not that at all. Those who flourish in a military environment tend to do so because they're in a place where they can build skill, will and trust in their relationships with other people. Perhaps counter-intuitively, because it's a safe place with a lot of predictability and clear paths of positive action.
Taking a large number of deliquents and social misfits and putting them through a "toughening exercise" doesn't usually give you that. It gives you hardened delinquency. If they are forging relationships, it's more likely to be camraderie against the experience instead of with it.
Even the very best leaders and teachers will have trouble getting good results out of people if they have to start out as wardens rather than mentors.
Harsh discipline may train them to obey you when they must, but it won't make them respect you. And as soon as they don't have fear of immediate retribution to motivate them anymore, they have no reason to continue being compliant. It gives you short-term suppression, not long-term prevention.
If you're from a rough home environment where betrayal and manipulation is just a part of daily life, where trust is seen as a weakness rather than a strength, you can't just say "okay, you're in a team now" and have it magically happen. There needs to be some kind of anchor in respect and trust first.
Ironically, that mindset is one of the reasons that some do gravitate toward towards gangs and other forms of organised crime: they're a social structure with rules about respect, trust, loyalty and belonging; an outlaw society for when the rest of society has already turned its back on you, that finds value in some of your antisocial behaviours and turns them into a kind of positive.
To get away from that, you need to find people other ways to make a real positive difference. That doesn't just mean being going from an all-stick approach to an all-carrot approach, or putting them in a hug-box to talk about all their feeling. Those won't work for another set of reasons. Giving someone a place where they can gain some mana for choosing to do good things, even very simple things, can be a place to start.
At the moment, some do get that in the armed forces. Some eventually get that through the prison system, in one of a variety of ambulance programmes at the bottom of the cliff. And some, some never do. If we want to help at-risk people at scale, it's better (and cheaper overall) if we can do that earlier, before they start letting the poor choices of people in unstable circumstances dominate their path in life.
This ended up with me having a discussion with friends, one who's been in the military and has attempted to train people in this kind of circumstances. The following are my own thoughts on the matter. Would be keen to know if any of this sounds like it doesn't make sense, but no "but some people are just plain evil!" please. I'd like us to fix what we can for who we can.
People seem to think it's the ordeals of basic training in the armed forces which "straightens them out", but it's really not that at all. Those who flourish in a military environment tend to do so because they're in a place where they can build skill, will and trust in their relationships with other people. Perhaps counter-intuitively, because it's a safe place with a lot of predictability and clear paths of positive action.
Taking a large number of deliquents and social misfits and putting them through a "toughening exercise" doesn't usually give you that. It gives you hardened delinquency. If they are forging relationships, it's more likely to be camraderie against the experience instead of with it.
Even the very best leaders and teachers will have trouble getting good results out of people if they have to start out as wardens rather than mentors.
Harsh discipline may train them to obey you when they must, but it won't make them respect you. And as soon as they don't have fear of immediate retribution to motivate them anymore, they have no reason to continue being compliant. It gives you short-term suppression, not long-term prevention.
If you're from a rough home environment where betrayal and manipulation is just a part of daily life, where trust is seen as a weakness rather than a strength, you can't just say "okay, you're in a team now" and have it magically happen. There needs to be some kind of anchor in respect and trust first.
Ironically, that mindset is one of the reasons that some do gravitate toward towards gangs and other forms of organised crime: they're a social structure with rules about respect, trust, loyalty and belonging; an outlaw society for when the rest of society has already turned its back on you, that finds value in some of your antisocial behaviours and turns them into a kind of positive.
To get away from that, you need to find people other ways to make a real positive difference. That doesn't just mean being going from an all-stick approach to an all-carrot approach, or putting them in a hug-box to talk about all their feeling. Those won't work for another set of reasons. Giving someone a place where they can gain some mana for choosing to do good things, even very simple things, can be a place to start.
At the moment, some do get that in the armed forces. Some eventually get that through the prison system, in one of a variety of ambulance programmes at the bottom of the cliff. And some, some never do. If we want to help at-risk people at scale, it's better (and cheaper overall) if we can do that earlier, before they start letting the poor choices of people in unstable circumstances dominate their path in life.
Today's crime against language.
Aug. 10th, 2017 11:06 pmEveryone comes out with eggcorns, mondegreens and their elk occasionally on the spurt of the moment. Firstable, not everyone has the time to dusk off a dictionary every time they hear a bran-new term. You don't need to bloodgeon people with how smart you are just because it isn't of upmost importance to them. It's not like you'll become a social leopard just because you don't half-hazardly intergrade fancy words into your everyday conservations.
When it's all set and done, if you can curve your enthusiasm, resist the urge to signal people out for criticism about their mixmatched words and chuck it up to experience, you won't be straddled with all this hard take and you'll have a new leash on life.
It's not worth getting a mindgrain over. I mean, who among us is really beyond approach?
When it's all set and done, if you can curve your enthusiasm, resist the urge to signal people out for criticism about their mixmatched words and chuck it up to experience, you won't be straddled with all this hard take and you'll have a new leash on life.
It's not worth getting a mindgrain over. I mean, who among us is really beyond approach?
