Jul. 20th, 2005

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3pm: Visit to Student Health, talking with counsellor about being ill for so long and seeing if anything could be done on the brain side of things, even if they can't figure out anything that's wrong with the body. It went okay. The guy I saw takes a narrative approach to psychiatry. Works for me; I'm a narrative kind of person.

5:10pm: Head-shrinking over. Went to take a bus home to rest for a while and get enough energy to make some food to eat. At this point problems arise. Someone behind me lights up a cigarette. On a bus in Christchurch, this is banned by the transport company, and I believe also illegal. Being utterly knackered and somewhat blocked in the nose, I didn't realise until my lungs started to constrict.

Pressed the stop button, stumbled down towards the door of the bus, coughing. The bus driver doesn't seem to be in a hurry to stop. Between coughs I try to ask him to stop the bus now. He waits until he can pull up at a bus stop. Upon exiting the bus, I hit the pavement and stay there, gasping for breath. The bus drives off.

In short order, a few random passers-by gather to make sure I'm alright, and I don't need an ambulance called. I'm starting to breathe a little easier by then and don't think I'm going to keel over any second now, so they help me to sit at the seat by the bus stop. One woman is waiting for the bus herself, and talks to me to make sure I'm okay, can get on the next bus, and that I get to where I'm going once I'm on the bus. Thank you, random people of Christchurch.

A bit after 6: Returned home (stagger stagger, crawl crawl). Wandered to the downstairs flat because that's where the lights are on, and I don't think it wise to be unattended (just in case). Gifted a place to sit down, a sympathetic cat, Ventolin in case it helps, licorice tea, Vicks Vapo-Rub and a couple of "passionfruit mint" tic-tacs. Thanks, Saku and Denni.

A bit before 7: Head up to my flat. Grab duvet, head for the lounge where it's warmer. Talk to flatmates a little. Helped up off the floor when I try to stand too quickly. Have miso. Curl up in a chair and rest. Thanks, flatmates.

2:40am: Feel awake and un-grotty enough to move a bit. Document this while it's still somewhat fresh in mind, and while I have enough energy to type for a while. Still too hard to focus this long though, so please excuse typos or editorial glitches as this is a write-only entry.

Now: Posting. Time for reheating leftover nacho mix from last night. Take off and nuke the throat with aromatics, see if that helps a little.

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