Hermitness.
Sep. 16th, 2004 05:40 pmI'm feeling just a bit like a social pariah at the moment. This isn't a pity post, though.
Some people whom I have in the past considered friends seem to have pretty much stopped talking to me, for some reason. There are a few people around the place who say that we really ought to catch up sometime, but won't let themselves be nailed down to actually doing so.
So. If I've inadvertently done some crap that makes you not want to associate with me, let me know. I can't fix things I don't know are broken, and if things are irrevocably broken I'd rather not keep exercising my futility. If you'd really rather not socialise with me, and are only saying things like that to be "nice", let me know. Bite the bullet, and kick that puppy. It'll be less painful for everyone in the long run. It's only the constantly reopening wounds that I can't heal.
Don't think I won't miss you, though. I may do already.
Some people whom I have in the past considered friends seem to have pretty much stopped talking to me, for some reason. There are a few people around the place who say that we really ought to catch up sometime, but won't let themselves be nailed down to actually doing so.
So. If I've inadvertently done some crap that makes you not want to associate with me, let me know. I can't fix things I don't know are broken, and if things are irrevocably broken I'd rather not keep exercising my futility. If you'd really rather not socialise with me, and are only saying things like that to be "nice", let me know. Bite the bullet, and kick that puppy. It'll be less painful for everyone in the long run. It's only the constantly reopening wounds that I can't heal.
Don't think I won't miss you, though. I may do already.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-15 10:56 pm (UTC)never am good at keeping in touch even with my best friends..
well we SHOULD do something... but what and when, perhaps email me or give me a call 3266025 or 0211416312... Often on Thursday nights I go to Mainstreet cafe with afew friends (andrew tarr and tim .. mclennon?) for coffee, feel free to trundle along.. or give me a call/ icq about it
blah
hopefully I'm one of those people you call a friend :P
never like to neglect people I'm just a bit unreliable and therefore don't often make solid plans..
*cuddles*
Sophie
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Date: 2004-09-16 10:58 am (UTC)Yes, you're certainly someone I'm happy to call a friend. *hug*
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Date: 2004-09-15 11:26 pm (UTC)i'm feeling guilty too :)
i keep saying we should catch up sometime, but i think you know i mean it?
nothing's broken in our relationship, i don't think :) xox
when i'm not sleeping in the next two weeks i'll be in lab 3. you should come find me :) or else after i hand in this project will text you for meet up *hugs*
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Date: 2004-09-16 11:03 am (UTC)Yes, I know you mean it. And we actually have conversations and stuff, even if they are via IRC ;-)
*hug*
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Date: 2004-09-16 07:40 pm (UTC)hmm
my laptop is fucked and seems to think im holding down the shift key always
so typing is weird (ive got capslock on now and cant type numbers or some punctuation) grrr
time to head back into uni i feel :)
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Date: 2004-09-16 12:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-16 10:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-16 05:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-16 12:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-16 10:50 am (UTC)Okay, now that *really* sticks in my craw.
Date: 2004-09-16 06:04 am (UTC)And then there are people who sever all contact with me, saying that they don't think they can trust me (knowing, or so I thought, how important a thing trust is to me, and having seen me not take sides between friends at odds in the past). Who suddenly appear in the same city as me, and want to be buddy-buddy friends again for some reason, after all this time.
That's a rather good way to make me grow away from someone. Forgive me if I haven't been so good at rebuilding the bridges you two have burned. It's hard for me to get back into a friendship after that kind of hurtful slight to my character, and with people who don't consider me trustworthy - a bit of a frailty of mine, I'm afraid. Still, trying - but please, don't expect any overnight miracles.
[Reply to comment in reply to my reply to the first comment, both deleted by their author]
Date: 2004-09-16 10:48 am (UTC)Of course you can trust me? Unless you tell me you've done an about face, how am I to know that? I'm not used to people I care about cutting themselves off from me without warning, so I don't really know what the etiquette for such situations is. It would be foolish for me to make assumptions based on what I don't know. I hope you can understand my confusion about this whole situation.
Still. Going back to the main post - if you'd rather I didn't try, let me know. Otherwise, I'll do the best I can.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-16 03:36 am (UTC)*hugs* If you do want visitors just drop a line (or post on LJ *grin*) and I'm sure something can be organised :). After all, I believe I know where you live (just across from your parents, yes?).
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Date: 2004-09-16 11:04 am (UTC)Not sure if work's about to get stupidly busy or not. We shall see.
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Date: 2004-09-16 04:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-16 04:41 am (UTC)I would have loved to have spent more time with you.
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Date: 2004-09-16 10:52 am (UTC)Universe hatey
Date: 2004-09-16 06:25 am (UTC)But gosh, you know your social life has taken a turn for the worse when my MOTHER invites you over...
Re: Universe hatey
Date: 2004-09-16 10:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-16 06:30 am (UTC)*guilty*
I have not been on #wicca for ages. I found the few friends I had there were worth coming and seeing, but the folks who still hold a grudge for me trying my darndest to make the channel marginally civil just won't let it be. I doubt I will be spending any more time there actually.
Trust is not an issue, just circles. The ones I am in right now are taking time from the ones I used to be in. Be well.
If you want to chat....firesinger at pagans dot org....
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Date: 2004-09-16 11:11 am (UTC)The gesture's appreciated - many thanks.
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Date: 2004-09-16 11:48 am (UTC)I never catchupwith anyone, I ignore everyone. There we have it. ;)
Course, I only pay attention to the lives of those I deem worthy of interest.
(btw got your email, all is right with the world.)
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Date: 2004-09-16 11:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-16 12:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-16 02:19 pm (UTC)Yeah, I confess. I'm not being a good friend to anyone really at the moment. I'm feeling miserable. I don't think I'm good company. And I'm INCREDIBLY unstable. I don't like freaking out in public.
I still loves ya.
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Date: 2004-09-17 09:11 am (UTC)I should be around fairly often to talk to by the usual online outlets, if need be.
*hugs*
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Date: 2004-09-16 03:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-17 09:12 am (UTC)hmmmmm
Date: 2004-09-16 04:11 pm (UTC)Re: hmmmmm
Date: 2004-09-17 09:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-16 08:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-17 09:13 am (UTC)You're cool, too. I'm glad to have you around the place, even if the place is physically far away.
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Date: 2004-09-18 11:50 pm (UTC)